I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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