Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
