He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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