Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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