on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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