Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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