dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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