Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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