i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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