it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
