Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
