K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
