i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
