Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
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