i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
