So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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