...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
