if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
either way he was missing a nipple.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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