i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
