I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize