Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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