So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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