Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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