he wants to bone in the snuggie
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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