If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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