and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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