you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
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You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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