Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
