Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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