Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
