you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
