dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
