His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We got so high we made milksteak
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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