1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
