Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
