IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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