theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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