We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
