Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
