At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Small penises have feelings too.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just want nice things and good sex
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
