The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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