I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
