She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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