you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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