my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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