Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize