Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
