i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
