Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
