I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I could fuck to npr.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
