So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
