as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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