I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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