heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
