the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
