handjob tips. give me some.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize