Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
