i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
