she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize