i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
