If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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