i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
