why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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