HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
