Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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