The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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