if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
