Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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