I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
